Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Top 10 annoying things about being thinner…

Weight log: 205 lbs

10. Having to wear mittens and wool socks to bed to keep my aching digits warm enough to not wake me up.

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9. Not being able to ‘take advantage’ of my wife’s life-stage related warmth to reduce our heating costs this winter.

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8. Not getting any ‘body-size’ sympathy from female cops about my lack of seatbelt use.

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7. Lost friendship with my former tailor from the tent and awning company.

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6. Having enough loose floppy arm-pit skin to involuntarily (and often in the most inappropriate situations) produce those arm-pit farts that I could never pull off as a boy.

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5. The way my now protruding bum bones make sitting on unpadded benches in church a greater challenge for the minister to have a good sermon.

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4. Having to learn an appreciation for the number of beats per minute in electronic/dance/trance music. (my latest music purchase: The Biggest Loser Latin Dance Workout Mix)

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3. Not being able to claim outrageous weight loss methods in response to the ever popular, “So how did you do it?” question.

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2. No longer possessing the same threatening cache as potential member of any human blanket/Tuna fish/dog pile.

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1. Did I mention the loose skin?

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