A friend of mine recently had a stroke – it knocked out his speech!
I did not anticipate how hard it would be to visit him in the hospital. There were times during that brief conversation that I felt completely frozen and completely out of control with my emotions.
Every Friday afternoon we usually meet at the local elementary school. He gets off work early to pick up his daughter and I wait around after teaching a Bible class to pick up my youngest boy. We always banter back and forth. Most recently he bugs me about how I could get away with almost anything in my youth ministry here. “After all,” he says, “what are they gonna do fire you!”
But these are days when despair follows pain very easily for me.
It is hard to visualize the long difficult road that lies ahead for him as he tries to retrain his mind and body to make words again. And then to live with the haunting fear of another stroke - hope slinks to the furthest corner underneath the bed in his room. He’s resilient – he fights!
Prayer feels so hollow.
Asking God to heal him makes me feel like an old time medicine peddler handing our miracles in little bottles. And saying that makes me feel like a faithless floozy.
What other prayer is there?
Every other prayer seems to ‘give up’.
Give him strength Lord.
Do you hear that tiny corner where hopelessness has gained a grasp?
Perhaps there is no meaning to struggle, but what does God mean to us in the pain?
“I was stabbed by Satan on the day that I was born. I was promised lovin’ but instead I was torn. My heart bled fear, my eyes shed tears.” –K’naan
Listen to the song here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2kwOP9h4-M