Wednesday, September 20, 2006

color me green...

So in my post-operative-quasi-vegetative state my wife decides to check on my cognitive faculties by attempting to have me allocate approval for color choices for the interior walls of our house. So she spreads the color sample on the tile floor which to my best evaluation constitutes the most critical existing color with which the paint must be harmonized. Barely having set these in place she whirls around demanding a verdict on the color that I think matches best. I am to choose (as you can see) between greens. No wait – Emerald forest, glossy pine, Isle of pines, or deep-freaking-old-growth-pine tree. Oh yeah and it is supposed to go with the something-or-other port she picked for the other wall.

Women, can I send a simple plea?
Most of us males are pretty much oblivious to the nuances of color selection. I have come to realize that this pursuit of finding the right color can easily preoccupy so much of your thinking that you might even refuse your husband’s romantic advances. And knowing that we are basically the most romantically irresistible thing in your lives we find it hard to imagine the power that this activity has over your cognitive discretion. We know there are shades of green but we have never stopped to think to give them a name. Please do not interpret the vacant look on our faces as disregard for those things you find most valuable to spend your concentrated energies on. That vacant look reflects three things that are happening simultaneously in our brain. We are calculating: how much the paint will cost, when you will consider our involvement in this ordeal to done, and how much of the sports section of the news cast we’ve already missed. That’s a lot of math…

10 comments:

Trevor said...

those were all greens?

Proffreezer said...

I going for sea-foam green. Right mom?

Anonymous said...

If that's "Craft Tree" green, that'd be a good choice! You might want to give contemplation green some consideration.

Natasha said...

Those look like Behr brand paint chip cards - are they? This post had me laughing. I can picture Jesse's blank face while I ask him about colors. You know what I think was one of the most thoughtful gifts that he ever thought to get me - a booklet like contractors have from Sherwin Williams (my favorite paint brand) containg all their colors. For some reason, he was never able to actually obtain one...hmmm.....guess he was smarter than that!

Clinton said...

I can certainly see your dilema, Dale. While a green would go nicely with your floor tile, the wood accents and a 'port' feature wall. It appears that Char has not given you enough latitude in the options she has provided you to make a truly acceptable choice. Now you're stuck with realizing that whatever you choose isn't going to be as good as it might be, yet stating that could truly be costly ..... you have my sincere sympathy

Increasing... said...

Natasha, not good to mention Sherwin Williams as your favorite brand. That throws me into another dilemma! Now I'm just going to have to hit a Sherwin paint store and bring home another 200 swatches each of green, burgundy, brown, blue, yellow, orange, black etc, etc, etc!!!

Natasha said...

If you are deciding between Sherwin Williams and Behr, I would DEFINITELY go with Sherwin Williams. It's a bit pricer initially, but the quality is ten times better. Jesse and I used Behr on the outside of our house in Loveland and within a few months, it was peeling. (That was with 3 coats.) We also used it in our bedroom, and it went on like water. It was like a never ended painting party to get it all even. Anyway, we bought Sherwin Williams for our living room (around the same time we did the bedroom) and it went on so much thicker and smoother - took less time and less paint. In any case, I'm totally sold on Sherwin - it's the only brand we buy now.

Clinton said...

Char, if you find you prefer the shade of a particular Behr chip to anything on the Sherwin colour chart, take the Behr chip to the Sherwin dealer and have them mix to match that chip. The only upside for them of mixing to one of their chips is that they already have the 'recipe' established and it takes no effort for them. If it's a good paint ship (regardless of brand of paint) they can match colours you bring them --- even if it's a piece of fabric, a toy or anything else. The only thing to be aware of is that the colour may look a little different in a paint than in a different medium. ...... Okay, so now I've given myself away, my last post was tongue in cheek, Dale .... shades and hues are important. I'm the colour nazi at our house. Have fun

Mark said...

women and their colors..all i know is blue, brown and grey...I had to laugh at this one dale, after our talk at pizza hut

Increasing... said...

thanks willmsy i was starting to think i was the only one...