Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Acrostically referential rankings of NHL teams based on Christian virtue…

Here’s the deal: use the first letter of teams name or home town as a reference for Christian virtue that can indicate a divine preference and series outcome
First Round Matchups

Let’s begin in the east

Boston vs Montreal

east1_66133 Of course most Canadiens’ fans will be quick to identify that “C” stands for Christian but we also know that “M” stands for Mamon the god of money and we know exactly how favoured money is in the religious scheme of things (interesting that the team is up for sale eh?)

The “B” in Bruins stands for – what else – Bible and the other “B” in Boston stands for Believer.

Do the religious math buddy – Boston in 5

San Jose vs Anaheim

west1_72445 “S” stands for sin - “J” stands for Jericho (which fell by the way) “Sh” stands for “shhh you’re making too much noise!”

and A is reserved for Angels, Anglicans, and Apostle – and every knows how well looked after birds are in the scheme of things

Ducks in 7

Washington vs NY Rangers

east2_66421 For Washington the “C” in Capitals is actually a good thing -  it equals crazy and the “w” equals women – people Jesus always found time to help

The “R”In Rangers stands for Rich (again a negative) and the “NY” = no youth something the church or a hockey team cannot do without

Capitals in seven

Detroit vs Columbus

west2_72829 “RW” obvious stands for the Right Way which we all know is the only way.

“BJ” on the other hand put Barrabas and Jezebel together for the first time in liturgical history…

Red Wings in 5

New Jersey vs Carolina

east3_66833 “D” stand for Devil need i say more…

After all “H” stands for heaven, and heart, and yippe

Hurricanes in 7

Vancouver vs St. Louis

west3_73025 “V” stands for verily verily i say unto you that the Canucks Cannot make it out of the first round.

Besides as has already been mentioned “B” stands for alot of really good things…

Blues in 6

Pittsburgh vs Philadelphia

east4_67151 Even though Revelations has some kind words for the Philadelphians the “F” in Flyers clear stands for Free Will which in this case has been exercised to construct an inferior team

“P” = pastor  and “P” = Power, Preaching, etc.

Look for Pastor Malkin and Pastor Crosby to make an alter call around game #6

Chicago vs Calgary

west4_73254 Yeah yeah yeah I get it Calgary – Calvary but come on you for get about the Flames – no need to do the acrostic…

Chicago at least has the “Ch” in Christian and the “BH” is backwards for Heavenly Blessings – plus there are Mennonites on that team hello

Black Hawks  - in 5

Looks like Canadian teams are still not holier than thou especially if thou is any US teams

There you go…

Let the Playoffs begin…

7 comments:

Ryan said...

Dale, you are a funny man. Well done.

Permit me an alternate interpretation of one series:

Black Hawks:

B = Babylon; H = Hellenism. The first is the very symbol of evil, the second of the corruption of Christian doctrine.

Flames:

F = Father, forgive Dale for what he has done.

FLAMES in 6.

Increasing... said...

we'll see
i wouldn't mind if the Flames got in to the next round but I have my doubts

Paul Morgun said...

HAHHAHAHHA I thought you gave up on the Bruins few years back and now you are a fan!!! CANUCKS ALL THE WAY BABY!!!!!!! WHAT GREAT FIRST GAME!!! LOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Increasing... said...

Morgun - the canucks will have to do better than that if they want to make it deeper than these seven games. Louuuuuuuuuuuuu seems to be the only one who really wants it...

Anonymous said...

You knew I wouldn't be able to resist a comment on this. you are hilarious. I agree with your choices except you're wrong on one series. "V" is for victory. you've got to go with Vanclouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuver!
Dad

Increasing... said...

Hey Dad thanks for jumpin in on this post...
You're jig is up though! I know that you're interest in seeing the Canucks win is actually more of Maple Leafs sentiment. Oh well it might happen but like I said to Paul they will need to play a whole lot better than they did in game one.
oh and by the way "V" also stands for "Valley of the shadow" and i think Lot's wife was named Veronica and she turned into a pillar of salt which is sorta about as active as your pal Sundin.
I got nothing but love for you though - I think Vancouver is the only team with a chance to go past the first round but the letters don't lie - :)

Paul Morgun said...

how do you like the NUCKS now WOOOHOOO!!