Thursday, May 8, 2008

Slaying Pluralism - a.k.a. a needle in Gil's ribs

what is pluralism?

It's a monster I tell you - look at me when I'm talking to you son - a veritable monster.

what makes it such a monster?

Now pay attention boy - this is important (look at me when I am talking to you). Pluralism is everything that is bad about the world today. Its the idea that you can pick and choose whatever the snot kind of idea you want to and plug it into your system of thinking. Doesn't matter if that new idea is basically completely opposite of a different idea you still believe. And then you just smile and nod at everyone else to tell them to screw off - Cause you are plural and you are right - got it? Now you're saying what is the big deal about that. Well, for starters it's insane. There's no way you can keep two exactly opposite ideas floating around in your brain at the same time. It's scientifically not possible and on top of that the Bible says exactly that - you can't serve two masters! And son if you take anything away from this here chat remember - ideas are our masters (and questions are their evil henchmen).

so pluralism is bad because it makes us consider other ideas?

That is right boy!.And as a Christian we have to make sure that we take our minds captive. Literally we need to put our minds in chains and sock them away for two double lifetime sentences with no chance of parole. But not only is pluralism insane it's lazy!

Lazy?

Yup - now listen boy cause you'll miss this... If you go around thinking that Buddhism might have some angle on truth and evolutionists do too and then you play with the God made everything idea - well pretty soon you are just going to give up - it's too hard to think about all that stuff and besides your friends all think wildly different stuff and you still wanna make out with them after class - right! so chill don't take everything they say so seriously just accept whatever - it'll be okay. THAT is what Pluralism would have you believe son. Tricky little bugger that one. Pretty soon you are just throwing everything you ever believed in right out the door.

do you really think so?

Well look sure your friends come from different backgrounds. They've experienced life really differently than you have. Their idea of God or truth might be messed up cause of the divorce of the parents, the ethnic background they come from, their exposure to TV. But we've raised you better than that - AND there is no need to sully your good name or that of the Lord Jesus Christ by trying to get so stinking involved in other people's lives and ideas. I mean if people have experienced crap like that in their lives their ideas about truth and God and religion have to be screwed up. (doesn't the Bible say something about sowing and reaping...)

But...

No don't give me that --- it's dangerous. The most important thing to remember is that you need to protect your faith. Lock it up! Cause they are going to tell you that science can disprove God. And they will tell you that history points to some horrific parts of the church's past. Then they will teach you that came from monkeys. They'll suggest that homosexuality is natural too. They throw in the beer or the bong and Whammo they have you hooked. You can't compete with that nobody can - not even Billy Graham. Next thing you know you're considering that sitting around doing yoga is 'good exercise'!

Are you sure that is the way it is?

Look right all the way down through history Christianity has been the underdog. That's our thing. And don't let anyone tell you different. I mean we've never been so arrogant and dismissive as people are these days - claiming that they are so open minded as if that we a virtue or something. I mean you tell a pluralist that the world is flat are they just going to incorporate that into their ideology? come on?

But...didn't we do that a few years back?

what do you mean?

didn't we believe that the world was flat in spite of the growing evidence that it wasn't?

well, yeah but that was different. first of all that wasn't the real church and second everybody thought that way back then - we weren't the only ones. and there were some pretty stubborn people back then who could seem to just let common sense take over. And that was before we really started using reason to develop strong theology. you know the reformation and stuff...

...Look I don't know why you need so much convincing here. Pluralism is the neighbour to atheism. And that is that.

so it's a monster then?

Yup!

So in this picture you've created for me here Pluralism is the giant hulking monster on the horizon and we are...the little guy down by the stream picking up stones for our sling?

...Sure!

Okay, so who wins?

Gil says it better here

4 comments:

roverT said...

Fear is our motivator for a lot of things.

Gil said...

Why are you trying to needle me picklehead? You know I'm with you on 90% of what you wrote here. The other 10%? Well we'll wait for your next visit to Sask...

Allison said...

Brilliant

Anonymous said...

loved it Picklehead. You make me laugh even while your preaching.
Tanya