Thursday, August 23, 2007

Apology Accepted?

I tracked this post by Folmsbee which made me stop and think. As such I am not opposed to apologizing for areas where we have failed collectively or individually. I think the stuff Chris apologizes for is sincere and accurate not just for him but for, i assume, many of us.
Here's the thing: I wonder what the point of apologizing is. In our house we have mantra that we repeat as often as we have conflict - this is it: "Sorry is not good enough - you need to make it up with the person you have offended". So we ask our boys to ask each other - "what can I do to make it up to you?"

I guess the issue for me is what exactly does apologizing do if it is not met with the repentant behaviour change that the apologiy suggests. I have found that we often use apology to absolve oursleves from guilt and responsibility for the crummy behaviour we have displayed. So it become a cover up and essentially a dishonest thing.

I have also noticed a tendency to use apology as a self depricating tool. You've the kind of person who is perpetually apologizing so as to assume the role of the pitiable bumbling idiot. Sometimes I sorta get the idea that perhaps that attitude is creepying in around the corners of Christian identity. There are many things that have been done in the name of Christianity that we should be ashamed of but we need to be careful not to compromise the core nature of Christian identity in the process. What I mean is that an apology can go too far in not just asking for pardon for the problem but actually asking for pardon for the individual's very existence (in some cases). Woe to those of us who choose to follow Christ and apologize for Jesus (his real essence) at the same time.

1 comment:

Bonnie said...

I'm really sorry, but I'm guilty of this! :-) I will think before I say it next time! Thanks- you're always provoking my thoughts!