Thursday, March 23, 2006

The Clear Mug Awards


In the middle to late 90’s a trend emerged in glassware which provided hot beverage drinkers the inexplicable joy of seeing their potion of choice three dimensionally. While Humpty’s restaurants insists on using said clear cups to this day in many of its restaurants, the use of these containers has fallen into unfashionable disuse in most of the rest of society. With gentle covert lobbying, coffee enthusiasts pared the production of these translucent mugs away from manufacturer’s factories. It was revealed that individuals who chose to adulterate their coffee with sweeteners, cream, and ‘flavourings’, where taking special delight in seeing their coffee merging with edible oil products. Obviously this reality could not go on.
So now that these cups are no longer a standard part of each kitchen cupboard, they have taken on iconic status. Of course it helps that Gil is quite verifiably aggravated when he is served a drink in this type of chalice. Really the cup is an enigma. As an icon it serves to highlight the triviality of corrupt practices. Ironically it acknowledges how self effacement can truly reveal inner beauty. And so it is that the cup has climbed atop the bronzed statuette we normally refer to as a trophy.
The award really is just as inscrutable as the cup itself. Really it may be awarded to almost anyone for almost any reason. Typically though it will be awarded with an overall sense of irony or sarcasm. To limit the award in this manner may still be far too confining so allow me to identify some of the catagories under which people may be nominated for the award:
Trend of the Year
Political Quote
Regular Quote
Best Story about a Transformed Coffee Drinker
Best Picture of a Taxi Cab
Most Ridiculous Invention

These are but a few of the categories. You are welcome to nominate someone for any of these categories and to suggest categories for our selection academy.
So now you know…

8 comments:

Paul Morgun said...

can i nominate you for Most Ridiculous Invention? with this clear cup thing? ahhahah jk...thank you for giving me one a while back ...althoguh it was probably mocking me...i still loved it.

Hilda said...

i nominate the "Friesen toque" as the Trend of the Year, although i admit I'm somewhat biased.

mark said...

I agree with Hilda. I just received my Friesen touque and 2 women have already commented on it as being "cute". Those being Char and my mom. Embrassing? maybe, but if this is any indication of what the ladies think of it, this could be a indication of good things to come.

Incoming... said...

yeah i'm pulling for ya on the girls front dude...
too bad i missed you
thanks Paul good come back
all is fair in award show season
thankfully you were prepared with an acceptance speech and everything

Nathan said...

I would like to nominate myself (Nathan McCorkindale) for the "Best Story Of A Transformed Coffee Drinker"
Like all good stories mine begins with a girl... well actually it starts before that. There was a time in my life when I worked in the Agriculture Industry and we worked many long hours. During the spring it wasn't uncommon to start working at 6 in the morning and then not get home until 11:30 at night. It was during this time that my dependency (I really don't like using that word... sounds too negative) for coffee developed. The problem was; I was still young and naive in the ways of coffee, and I would drink my Styrofoam cup with three sugars AND a few heaping spoonfuls of that disgusting white powdery stuff (I shudder to admit this) Well along came my third year at Bethany when into my life walked my “savior” (and the beautiful woman who is now my wife) who relentlessly MOCKED me for drinking my coffee like a girl. She said, "In MY family all the men drink their coffee black. Only the ladies put stuff in it." Well needless to say when I met her family I didn't want to be like a girl, so I began to drink it black… the way God meant for it to be. Of course, like overcoming any disgusting habit, there were times of relapse when I would go back to the old (or as I like to call it "sinful") ways of cream and sugar. But for love (and principle) I trained myself to drink black coffee.
Today I am blessed to have such a great mentor in the art of drinking coffee, now at my monthly meetings with Jayson (Gil’s brother in law) he will sniff the coffee, take a taste, and pronounce, “This is a good brew!” and I (In awe like a child) will sniff mine and agree hoping that one day I too can ascend to the level of Coffee Guru like the D’Caffeinated Pickler and Jayson. Looking back at my coffee journey I shake my head in disgust at how I was so young and immature. All I can do is claim Hebrews 5:14 which says, "But black coffee is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. (Heb 5:14 TNNIV*)"
There are just one more things I must say. One other person who greatly inspires me in the world of coffee is Martin Hamata who would literally make you cry if you spilt a drop of his coffee. This incredible love and dedication to each drop is truly awe inspiring.
Coffee is like faith. As we travel the path there are many people who influence us, and one day we stop and look back and are amazed at how much you have changed since the first taste.
*The New Nearly Inspired Version (my own personal translation)

Finally (sorry I know this has been long. Two quotes for the Regular quote category:
"Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love."
- Turkish Proverb
"Decaffeinated coffee is kind of like kissing your sister."
-Bob Irwin

Incoming... said...

well i guess the heat is on...
you've got a great story - it makes me wonder if i should write the four drinking laws of coffee - for evangelistic purposes.
Actually, a self nomination is interesting - may little AA-ish but I feel with you brother. we'll let the fans decide...

Gil said...

I nominate anyone who can get through your description of the clear mug award with their mental faculties intact. Scratch that... I nominate you for the most cryptic use of the English language.

Incoming... said...

Gil where were you when I needed a Language Arts Teacher - - you watch it or i'll give you another clear cup and not in the way that you like it either...